5

I absolutely love family photos...well not necessarily that of my own. Don't get me wrong, I adore my family, but we just never "got it." The youngest one would look mildly sedated, while another brother would stare off into the distance, contrived smiles or priceless expressions such as that of this young lad.

So when the family photos of the Johnathan family came out on ThisDay Style magazine (H/T Jide Salu), I couldn't help shelf my critical eye and let out an unnecessarily drawn out "Awwwwwwww...."

Let's not be naive here, family photos can be deceiving, but it was a long weekend, the weather was lovely, and a well-taken family photo makes me exceedingly happy.

I'll save my Obama wanna-be references for another post - you know, like this one. Oops, yeah, that one slipped.

And besides, I needed something to cheer me up after reading the disgraceful account of brutal domestic violence in the household of Nigerian Ambassador to Kenya, Dr. Chijioke Nwigwe. Warning, the pictures of his wife's bloodied face are graphic. I believe he is now being recalled from his post - but to me it is all a charade. Let's not be fooled, this was not the first time he battered his wife, and will not be the last. Some have claimed to have received his side of the story, in which the wife attacked him first and then in the process, fell down the stairs. Really? Do batterers and abusive parents have some sort of worldwide convention and make a list of alternative scenarios to be distributed to their card carrying members? The fell-down-the-stairs excuse has to be the oldest in the book.

Upon seeing the pictures, the first questions that came to bear - and mind, you, these were immediate visceral reactions - what would possess a man to attack someone's grandmother to that extent and what would keep an educated woman in such a situation? Like seriously, unu abuo kwesiri kwanyere onwe unu ugwu. I choro igwa m na unu ka na-akpa agwa nzuzu n'agadi?* But, on further introspection I knew that the first question was inappropriate - because I believe that her status as grandmother, mother, saint or devil really has no bearing on his brutality. And if one were to trot down that road further, as we are wont to do in our culture, we find ourselves on the slippery slopes of justifying situations amenable to physical punishment of an adult or ranking the deserved-ness (there must be another word for that) of one's respect on the basis on how active one's womb is/has been. And simply put, I hate that.

The second question, I danced around a bit on a previous post from several years ago in which I made remarks on a study on Igbo women's attitudes towards domestic violence - which yielded results that at first glance, may seem atypical, but track well with some of my personal experiences. The couple at the center of this tragedy, the Nwigwe's, are well-heeled, educated and the wife possesses dual British-Nigerian citizenship. I have witnessed a number of married women stay in emotionally and physically abusive relationships, despite lives that on the outside, seem relatively put together - in fact, envious.

*you two need to respect yourselves...you want to tell me that you still behave foolishly in old age?

8

I thought I was the only one who could not sit through the completion of Adichie's TED talk, "Danger of a Single Story." Honestly, I think my self-declared fast from Facebook was largely spurned by the inundation of my mailbox and Newsfeed with links to this talk.

First let me admit that I literally swallowed Half a Yellow Sun after dinner one night, and nearly felt somewhat depressed when I started inching towards the final pages of the novel because I so desired the book to go on, and on, and on. To say that Adichie is an amazing storyteller, would be quite the understatement. I have not yet had the chance to pick up her collection of short stories, The Thing Around Your Neck (Christmas gift, anyone?).

Yes, call me a hater, but I felt that at least the first few minutes that I did happen to slug through were somewhat tiresome. Literally, it was the "single story" that I have heard countless numbers of Nigerian, Ghanaian, Jamaican immigrants tell over again, but this time, more eloquently and on a more public stage...

Young person fetishizes the West...person grows up and travels to this West...person becomes increasingly jaded with the West and its apparent love affair with itself (to the ignorance of other non-Western countries)...person becomes more aware of the beauty and diversity of his/her African identity (primarily through Western outlets which were hitherto thought of as inaccessible in home country)...person shuns western dress and takes interest in rocking dashikis and African headwraps...

And true, as someone has mentioned to me in the past, Adichie's loudest critics happen to be men - see here and here - which was why I was initially hesitant to bring attention to yet another male who just doesn't get our collective love affair with Adichie. Beyond calling attention to the fact that several Nigerian stories were well-established around the time of Adichie's birth, Nnorum Azuonye also points out the apparent contradiction behind Adichie's talk...

The jaundice in The Danger of a Single Story is that Ms Adichie was in fact perpetuating stereotypes. Anyone who does not know better who watches that presentation would conclude that all Westerners refer to Africa as a country. We know this is not true. There is a lot of it going on, but it is not standard by any stretch of the imagination. Never mind that Africans, especially Nigerians are guilty of insinuating that Africa is a country. Many times in the United Kingdom, you ask a Nigerian where he comes from. Afraid of admitting to being a Nigerian and being consigned to the heap of criminals...he would say he comes from Africa. He would only admit the Nigerian connection if the person asking knows Africa is a continent and questions further, ‘what part of Africa do you come from?’ Interestingly, some would respond to this more specific question with a neither here nor there answer; ‘my Dad originally comes from Lagos, and my mother is from Benin.’ If pushed further, he will say, ‘Make it Lagos. I come from Lagos.’

Azuonye forgot to add that yes, while some Westerners find Africa as the bastion of poverty and disease, several of our compatriots have also made careers off of such saving some nebulous creature called Africa. I would suggest taking a peek at the essay yourself...and if Azuonye also sounds tiresome, by all means, change the page in search of yet another single story.

H/T Aloofar for the link

0

...BS.

In my latest NigeriansTalk.org post (yes, I'm blogging by proxy), I argue that the fact that we have a motive for the death of Grace Ushang, but no perpetrator, fosters the idea that Ushang is somehow a player in her own demise. Grace Ushang, may her soul rest in peace, died because some sick person decided to brutally violate her. Her rape and eventual death was not committed in defense of Allah or in adherence to shar'ia law. The fault of Ushang's rape and murder lies wholly on the perverted mind of the rapist and not her khaki trousers.

The fact that there is an excuse being circulated as to why Ushang was attacked so ruthlessly is a glaring indictment on our nation’s view of rape and other violent acts committed against women. We all know, (minus Senator Ekaette), that the worn-out excuse of ”her trousers (skirt, blouse, what-have-you) made me do it” is a pretty pathetic explanation for anything. However, the fact that we even try to explain away such heinous crimes is orders of magnitude more pathetic. Any explanation for rape other than the rapist is, truly, a sick bastard, directly or indirectly shifts blame to the victim. If such is not the case or intention, blaming Ushang’s khakis is some twisted means by which to rationalize the brutality of the crime. Needless to say, I don’t buy into either – blaming the victim, nor tempering the barbaric nature of the crime with some careless explanation. Let’s call a spade a spade – wonton violence is wonton violence and can only be perpetuated by the vilest of the vile.

When Director-Generals of NYSC call for corpers to be more "security-conscious," mothers ask their daughters to bear with it, or Senators set out to legislate lengths of skirts, there is a underlying blame-the-victim mentality that is being perpetuated. Sexual assault and domestic violence, again I reiterate, are reflective of the batterer, and not victim.

0

so Nigeria and Ghana have recently added some new bloggers to their ranks, who happen to be good friends of mine. Please, when you can, check out the random, yet relevant, thoughts of a gal and the Lamp, or Atupa,when you are chanced.


my dears, two new stars have been born....

19

i know, i've been avoiding the blogosphere for a while, but with good reason - reasons that i don't care to explain here. I apologize for the continued silence. I have a backlog of possible blog topics, so please excuse me if rehash something you've discussed weeks past.

few weeks ago, we all of the Nigerian diaspora within the United States shivered at the news of the cold-hearted Minnesota murder that silenced Mrs. Anthonia Iheme, 28, by her husband, Mr. Michael C. Iheme. Shortly after the murder, Mr. Iheme dialed 911 stating that he has "killed the woman that messed [his] life up." Bail has been sent at $1 million dollars and Mrs. Anthonia leaves behind and four-year-old son and three-year-old daughter.

unfortunately, the Iheme murder is part of a growing trend of spousal homicide, particularly of women, amongst Nigerian immigrants in the United States. First let me point out that Nigerians are not the only perpetrators of such acts - remember, the number one killer of pregnant women in the United States is homicide - usually by their husbands or significant others. However, incidents such as this, this, and this within recent memory should warrant some introspection amongst our people everywhere, particularly the United States.

earlier this week, I shared the details of this story with my hair dresser, a recent Nigerian immigrant. Of course, she like all others with a pulse, found this story to be horrifying. She wondered what the woman did to warrant such punishment.

problem....

why should the first concern be about what the woman did or did not do to warrant...what?...murder?

anyway, since she was much older than I, of course, I asked for her insight as to why such things happen and why they have been happening in the Nigerian community in the US. She gave the usual battery of complaints that life in the US to too stressful and increased expectations on men cause them to go mad and some murder their wives.

I proposed that the problem was not that life in America was unbearably hard (if so, I would gather that most Nigerians would have murdered their wives long before they reached the US....but that is a topic for another day). Rather, it starts with this notion that sometimes Nigerian culture (whatever that means...), does its people a disservice by placing undue power in the hands of one to control the fate of another in a lesser position of power. Such manifests itself in marriages, especially when there is quite the age gap between partners. (Not all of such unions are horrible, and some relationships I admire the most are those between couples of differing ages).

there exists this idea, that upon marriage, ownership of the woman is relinquished from the father and transferred to the spouse. With this ownership, comes the idea that one has the mandate to treat the newly acquired property as they please - particularly when it comes to issues of domestic abuse. America is a culture that openly threatens this ideal and pushes perpetrators and victims of wife battery into the dark until something more serious occurs. Yes in this case, Anthonia went to the police on a previous occasion, but I wonder how long it took for her to get to this point or how serious she was in maintaining the restraining order against Mr. Iheme.

i'm sure you're like "...not another domestic violence post...." But I've witnessed such themes repeat themselves in other relationships as well - master/househelp abuse and child abuse, such as this case where a man placed pepper in a child's eyes and genitals.

I noticed my hairdressers' chants of "you're right, my sister" started to die down into silence as I continued on my rant. I think in my excitement, I started to talk too much and challenge some long-held assumptions of who has which place in Nigerian society.

22

amongst older African Americans, there is this saying that "the white man's ice is colder than that of the black man." It's usually said with some sarcasm because everyone knows that ice is ice, regardless of who sells it or not. What they are trying to say is that some people have been so brainwashed so as to think that things of the West are ultimately superior in every respect and that such a fact can never ever be questioned. I am sure we have all seen instances of this both in Nigeria and abroad. Like for example, we may know of someone who insists on buying their "Made in China" shoes when the AbaMade brand looks similar and may be superior in quality.

So what does all this have to do with our formerly esteemed, but now fallen, Minister of Health, Dr. Adenike Grange. Plenty...well at least, in my humble opinion....your own opinions are most welcomed.

Two weeks ago (yeah, I know, I'm late), Dr. Grange resigned from her post as the nation's Minister of Health, under allegations of corruption and mishandling of funds allocated to the Ministry of Health. As for the specifics, N300 million of unspent funds meant to return to the national treasury went missing or - according to the Ministry - were spent on Christmas bonuses. Grange claims that she did not personally benefit from these funds, but, in my opinion the gross mishandling of these funds hints that she handled her post irresponsibly, at the least.

I was still in Nigeria when Grange was appointed to the position of Minister of Health. When I did a proper search on her credentials (ehem...google), I was more than impressed. Actually, I was inspired, even hopeful. Beyond being a Nigerian woman, (because most Nigerian women are simply awesome...), she served as the president of the International Pediatric Association (IPA) and as a consultant for respected institutions such as the World Health Organization and UNICEF.

I believe it is safe to assume that while she was working for these institutions, which are heavily funded and monitored by the West, she must have been very careful in carrying out her responsibilities. I'm sure that is why she was recommended to and later given the post of Minister of Health (as for the junior Minister, who in his former life was an architect...i no know wetin he dash Yardy make da man call am...but i digress).

But what happened when she entered the Ministry, if this whole debacle is indeed, as she claims, a "lapse" in duty on her part?

That is where the white man's ice comes in. I feel that many (including myself at times) tend to perform differently amongst different people. I feel that amongst the company of her oyinbo peers, Grange probably was meticulous in her various appointments. But when it came to handling the affairs of Nigerians, it seemed as if her guard went down. After all, this is Nigeria - anything goes (including the sum of N300million). If, Grange felt that the white man's ice is colder, then when she goes into his store to buy such ice, it required of her a higher degree of decorum, as she displayed when working with the likes of WHO, IPA, and UNICEF. I guess entering the black man's store she let her guard down and the millions of women and children she claimed to protect.

Dr. Grange is not the first, and definitely not the last, to behave in such a manner. I know that I have done the same too (I won't get into specifics). But I guess this post and the Grange issue serves as a reminder to myself that we should be careful when we approach the work of humanitarian aid or service to our fatherland (or motherland, whichever). Grange in her resignation shifted blame to inherent political corruption in the Ministry. But I wonder if that is a good enough excuse to ignore her own personal call to promoting high moral standards in government. Personally I think she did not take her post as seriously as she did her other appointments in the West simply because she was amongst Nigerians.

But then again, this is just my take on things. She might have had this "lapse" because of personal problems at home or work that made her miss the millions of naira being reshuffled.

But I do agree with her, in a speech she made in 2005, when she quoted Rev. Martin Luther King that "'We shall have to repent in this generation, not so much for the evil deeds of the wicked people but for the appalling silence (and inactivity) of good people.'"

Might I add, that our generation shall have to repent, not so much for an unwillingness to do good, but for being crappy at doing good (sorry, I'm having a brain freeze - no pun intended - and "crappy" was the only word I could think of...)

22

i am somewhat familiar with the issue of domestic violence in Igbo households, both from personal experience (that is observing other families who engage in this practice) and from what I see in the media (ehem, Nollywood). However, I have recently encountered a disturbing article, (actually there are several more out there) on domestic violence incidence in a random sample of Imo state women, which, I may venture to say, could be generalized to Igbo women at large, and perhaps, Nigerian society (pleeeease correct me, if I am wrong).

The article is entitled, Prevalence, Patterns and Correlates of Domestic Violence in Selected Igbo Communities of Imo State, Nigeria (Okembo C et.al. 2002). I guess you can google scholar it if interested, but if you don't have access to it, email me and I can send you the pdf file. (I'm not sure if I will get in trouble for distributing it, but I think I am willing to take the risk, for the sake of the cause).

For the sake of space, I will spare you the intricate details about study design, sample size etc (though, they are important, I just gloss over these things...bad habit) and highlight some of their results. In a sample of about 300 women (I know, this is a pretty small sample), they found that almost 80% had experienced some form of domestic violence. I thought the number was unbelievable. Women in urban areas were more likely to experience physical beatings from their husbands than rural women. (In regards to polygamy, it was found that women in polygamous marriages were less likely to undergo abuse - just thought that was interesting - please note that I am not advocating the practice). There were other interesting results documenting kinds of abuse, prevalence and preferences and predictors of abuse that you can pick out on your own time.

I would really like to know, if some of you, from your own personal experiences find that domestic violence is as prevalent as this article suggests and your thoughts on this idea that domestic abuse is more common in the cities than rural areas and why? (of course, this was just a preliminary study and I did not check out other papers to find out if they support this stat.

I think what really caught my attention were some of the responses from the participants to why abuse occurs. For example, here is one:

"...Usually [men] see women as physically, economically and socially inferior to [men]. They also feel that they bought women with their money..."

The authors stated that cultural institutions amongst the Igbo are to blame for the continued practice of domestic violence. Particularly, the idea that male children are worth more than female children therefore creating the notion that women can be treated that way. Besides traditional institutions that support the prevalence of domestic abuse, some women cited Christianity as to institution to blame for this continued practice stating that the Bible calls for the "subjection" of women by man.

Let me first state that I would not go so far as to condemn Igbo cultural institutions, which I appreciate and adhere to, nor condemn Christianity, which I practice. However, are these two institutions to blame for the continued practice of domestic violence? What particular aspects are to blame for domestic violence and can one use these institutions to prevent and abolish this practice? What should be done about it and why isn't more being done about it (like addressing it as a vital component of a family planning or reproductive health agenda)?

Sorry if this post is a bit long, but I seriously cut out a lot of stuff in order to get the main point across. I always look forward to all of your responses because they seriously challenge me and get me thinking in ways unimagined.

Oh in regards to the poster above....yes, another google image search. But I thought the poster was interesting in that it is appealing to adherence to tradition which calls for utmost respect for mothers and older-womanhood. An example of how existing societal institutions which promote violence could be used to eradicate it....yes, I said ERADICATE it.

16

so, I got tired of seeing the image below of the Ghana Black Stars fan whenever I visited my blog and thought that it is high time I put up another post. since this is the month of love and US black history month - i would like to speak to a topic that has affected american black females for centuries and as i am starting to witness, african females as well.

last night, after simultaneously studying and keeping my eye out for the wisconsin and hawaii primaries (more of the latter than the former), I caught the last half or so of BET's "25 Events that (mis)shaped Black America." Under normal circumstances, I would not be caught dead watching late night BET, but my brother was watching it, the show seemed to have some usefulness, and I am a big Michael Eric Dyson fan.

One of the (mis)shaping events that caught my attention was the the hyper-sexualization of the black female or the misogyny of the black female as portrayed by hip-hop. First, I found it interesting that BET should admit that the negative effects of the portrayal of african american females as b****es and hos since they are one of the major exporters of these images. But I started to think that the hypersexualization of the black female is not limited to hip-hop music as well.

Earlier in the week (or maybe last week), I was put off a bit by cover story on the BBC news website, "Ivory Coast's 'big-bottom' Craze." Initially, my annoyance stemmed from the fact there are other more pressing concerns in Ivory Coast other than bum and breast enhancement creams and some song's tribute to big bottoms. But after this BET special, I began to wonder whether the African continent also exports this idea of a hypersexualized black female thru its music in similar ways to Nelly and Ludacris. Granted the history of the black female in the US, especially in light of forced sexual relations with white slavers and the simultaneous systemic emasculization of American black men during slavery stands in stark contrast to the situation on the continent (or I may be wrong here)...but how different is Meiway's call to shake our lolo's from Baby Huey's insistence that the bum should be popped, locked, then dropped? The videos are strikingly similar. I also wonder, is this an anomaly amongst blacks - I mean, are there other people groups that dissect and exploit intimate parts of the black female physique in order to sell records or initiate dance crazes? Africans have also had their own share of exploiting female sexuality by colonial masters (remember Hottentot Venus).

Of course, before I close, I must admit, that although I hate the images of half-naked black women on BET and Awilo's soft porn music videos, I can't help but play some of these catchy tunes on my iPod during a workout. I'm a huge fan of soukous music - HUGE. Additionally, I never leave the house without making sure that my jeans properly "fit" and accentuate what needs to be accentuated. I have struggled alot with the issues I just raised - especially the added dimension of African music turning towards lurid depictions of black women. A part of me says, its just music - not only that, but it's music with an irresistible beat that I cannot find in other genres. And perhaps, in some cases, there is a genuine appreciation for the black female physique. But then another part of me, the one that started this post, wonders if I am contributing to the degradation of black women by espousing any such music. I am slowly leaning towards the latter....

I would really really really like to get your opinions on this topic (also, let me know if I should clarify a bit). Let me know if you think it is "just music" or whether we have allowed the hypersexualization of black women to go too far or whether I have approached this topic incorrectly in comparing the African American situation with that of the continent.

0

Today is probably the first time I checked out an nytimes.com blog. I usually go for the frontcover stuff. However, this particular entry was difficult to pass over.
I had hoped that my next African feminism entry would be later in the month, but I guess I could not help myself (oh, and I'll eventually respond to the tag from Ore).
It was only recently (say like a year or two ago), that I found out that female circumcision is still practiced in Nigeria amongst some groups, including Igbos. (Yeah, I was shocked about the latter, for even my even my cultural consultants, i.e. my parents, were unaware that it is practiced).
Of course the witness of many, including within the Nigerian community, testify to the practice being repressive and another means to subjugate women physically, sexually and otherwise. Additionally, there is evidence that it leads to adverse birthing outcomes and increased HIV/AIDs transmission, through the use of infected materials.
I am also aware of the arguments for FGM, which before reading the nytimes.com entry, I had only heard from women on the ground who state that is a part of their culture and that it no different from male circumcision, tatooing, breast augumentation, or cutting the umbilical cord to the point of creating a navel (belly button) in infants.
However, this is the first time I have seen academia address and advocate these arguments. In this case, it was from a post-doctoral candidate who traveled back to Sierra Leone in order to undergo female circumcision.
Personally, I am not against her decision for she felt that to do so would be empowering, both as a woman and as a member of the Kono. However, I am not comfortable with having it as standard practice amongst girls who are not at the age of consent. Even so, if one were to say the age of consent is 18, I am sure there are other very real pressures on women to perform the practice that may seem like coercion (threat of being labeled an outcast in the family and community, etc.). The decision of a post-doc to spend how many hundreds of dollars traveling back to Sierra Leone to undergo circumcision is on very different playing field from a female child or young woman who's social and financial well being is predicated on her willingness to adhere to a practice she may not agree with.
So what's the bottomline here? Well, more power to Fuambai Ahmadu for presenting a viewpoint that is definitely against the grain in the West. I am always for hearing out an alternative explanation. However, as women and as people, we also need to be careful as to whether our personal efforts to liberate ourselves could run the risk of creating a problem for others. Ahmadu, go and do you, but, please, not at the expense of the African girl-child.

oh and "akuko nke abuo" means story part 2 or the second part....and I know, the dots under the u and o are missing...if you know how I can get those characters...let me know.